My date is a pirate
by dax0042
Summary: Karnage sends Mad Dog and Dumptruck on a job to steal what ever they can, but the pirates meet a girl and are able to get a date.


It was a quiet afternoon in the city of Cape Suzette, but the only thing that wasn't quiet was the amazing pirate, Don Karnage, who was once again trying to sneak into the city through the cliffs. The problem was defense cannons preventing him or his crew from flying past the cliffs. He tried many times to get past the cannons and always failed, but this time, Karnage was determine to get into Cape Suzette. His only chance was to use the mini-sub Ratchet had made for him.

As the plane carrying the sub drew near to the cliffs, the cannons opened fire, but the plane was out of range. "Ah, you missed me you silly foolish gunners," Karnage laughed, as he mocked the gunners over the radio. Turning to his pilot Hacksaw, he flashed him a smile. "Just make sure we stay out of range. Yes, no?" Hacksaw may not have been the smartest air pirate, but he sure knew how to follow orders that were given to him. "Right, boss," he saluted.

A crash was heard coming from the back of the cargo hold, and it only made Karnage angry knowing that it was caused by his two stupid crew members, Mad Dog and Dumptruck. The two of them were fighting over who had to get in the sub first, but that was decided by their captain yelling at them.

"If you two don't get into the submarine, I will use your skin for my new seat cover!" Karnage shouted threateningly. Mad Dog and Dumptruck looked at each other and quickly climbed into the sub with haste. Karnage shook his head in annoyances, knowing that those two would only screw up in the end. Dumptruck looked worried as he tried to squeeze through the small opening at the top. "Are you sure this thing is safe captain?" he nervously asked. Karnage stepped forward with a reassuring smile.

"Why of course, Dumptruck. Your well being is of my prime concern," he kindly said, before grabbing the sub's hatch and slamming it on top of Dumptruck's head, knocking the poor pirate down into the sub.

"Dumptruck get off me," Mad Dog begged, trying to get his bulky partner off of him. Once the two of them were seated, Mad Dog turned and opened a small porthole. "Where shall we reach you when we are down?" he asked. Don Karnage pulled out a map and pointed to a small red dot at the bottom. "Behind the old gunship wreck, away from those nasty cannons." Mad Dog took a minute to study the map, but a then a question came to his mind.

"Um, what should we steal?" he asked, Karnage gritted his teeth. "Do I have to write you a shopping list?" he growled, "steal whatever you can—even the kitchen sink if needed." Karnage however was only playing around with him when he mentioned the kitchen sink, but Mad Dog thought he was serious about that. "Right, we wont let you down."

Karnage gave him a pleasant smile. "Good to hear, just make sure you are not seen by anyone," he said pulling on the bomb bay door release switch. Mad Dog's eyes widened with fear as the sub plummeted toward the ocean below. When it hit the water, Mad Dog and Dumptruck were thrown off their feet and slammed into the roof and landed on their faces.

"Wow, this sub sure can handled the rough stuff," Dumptruck stated in relief, but Mad Dog was not happy one bit and took command like Karnage would. "Will you shut up and get this thing running?!" he ordered, kicking his fellow crew member. Dumptruck looked the ferret/weasel breed in the eye with defiance. "Why do you make me do all the work?" he asked with a growl.

"Because I went to school!" Mad Dog shot back, but Dumptruck knew that was lie. "Did not!" he shouted in return. "Well I saw a picture of one once," he replied back, crossing his arms with a boastful smile.

Dumptruck had been beaten by his friend and did as he was told. The sub was then running at full speed toward the coast. While he maned the controls, Mad Dog used the periscope to look for anything left on the docks they could steal. As the two pirates cruised through the harbor, they both began to get board with their job, nothing seemed to be going right for them.

"You know Dumptruck, we got to talk to the boss about a raise. We deserve one," Mad Dog sighed deeply. Dumptruck agreed with him on that. "Yeah, we do all the looting and he gets all the loot," he stated with a discouraged frown. "Why, I don't even own a lousy pair of boots." Mad Dog looked at him and smiled. "But hey, at least we are away from that Mr. I'm-the-Captain-who-is-so-smart," he said, laughing through his teeth like a snake.

Dumptruck couldn't help but smile as well. Mad Dog was right, they had been getting a break from Captain Karnage, so there was something to be thankful for.

As Mad Dog looked through the periscope again, something caught his attention. There sitting on the dock was a vixen with a pearl necklace around her neck. "Dumptruck," Mad Dog said calmly, "could you bring the sub to the surface?" Dumptruck felt uneasy with coming to the surface where everyone could see them. Karnage had told them not to be seen, but hey, if his partner wanted to spend the rest of his life in jail that was fine by him.

As the sub came up beside the dock, the vixen didn't see it or Mad Dog who was the first to exit the sub. "Excuse me, miss, but I could not help noticing you," he said, walking up to the vixen with a devilish smile. "Who? Me?" the vixen asked.

"Yes, you," Mad Dog replied. "You are a very lovely lady, who as seen the sands of the deserts and many thing more that I can not think of. Would you honorer me with a walk on the beach, no?" The vixen was very puzzled by his kindness, but she did find him to be very cute. "Well, if you insist," she said, letting him lead her by the hand to the beach. "My name his Katie Dark by the way."

From within the sub, Dumptruck watched as Mad Dog and Katie walk off, leaving him behind. "This ain't fair," he grumbled. "Mad Dog is not only going to get the pearls, he's going to score with a very lovely lady. I need to get in on the fun." Without a second thought, Dumptruck exited the sub and followed Mad Dog and Katie.

Down on the beach, Mad Dog was flirting with Katie. "...and when the pharaoh's tomb opened, nothing inside could compare with your goddess like beauty." Katie started to blush, for some reason she was like butter in his hand. "You really mean that?" she asked with a dream sigh. Mad Dog slowly placed his hand on the side of her neck, just above the necklace. "Yes, but your necklace is even lovelier then you!" he shouted, and in one quick flick of his hand, he had ripped the necklace right off her neck. Katie was horrified.

Dumptruck saw the whole thing and he was disgusted with Mad Dog's sneaky tricks. So he felt it was only right to help a lady who was being robbed by his fellow crew member.

"You rotten rat!" Katie shouted wildly. "I'll teach you to steal from me, buster!" Before Mad Dog could even react, Katie grabbed a bucket and brought it down on his head with such force that it knocked him the ground, but Mad Dog quickly got back to feet. Rage was burning in his eyes as he drew his knife on her. "You will pay for that," he growled, walking slowly toward her.

Suddenly, Mad Dog was bolted off his feet into a near by garbage can. He looked and stared in disbelief that it was Dumptruck who had attacked him. "Mad Dog my friend, we may be pirates, but our mothers told us never to take advantage of of ladies, just so we can steal from them," Dumptruck said, grabbing his crew member by the neck. "I want you to say your sorry."

"Sorry," Mad Dog said, but was smacked across the head by Dumptruck. "Say it as you would to your own mother!" he snapped, frighting his partner. "I'm very sorry that I tried to rob you by taking advantage of you, it won't happen again."

However, Katie was smiling at Dumptruck, which confused him greatly. "May I ask what your name is... handsome?" she asked, taking a step toward Dumptruck to feel his muscles. "My name is Ducky Abby Shorthorn, but my crew and everybody just calls me Dumptruck," he said proudly.

"Dumptruck, how would you love to join me for dinner tonight?" Katie asked. Dumptruck thought for minute. Looking at his watch, he gave her his answer. "I would love that, how about we have a nice picnic here on the beach?"

Katie liked his suggestion and hurried home. "I'll meet you here at six, and your friend can join us," she called from across the street, Dumptruck could not believe it, he was going to have a date with Katie Dark. That night, Dumptruck and Mad Dog waited on the beach for Katie, but when she showed up two police cars drove up from behind her.

"You two are under arrest for pirating, theft and for carrying a deadly weapon," she said showing them her badge. Dumptruck was crushed, his first date in twenty years was setup by an officer of the law. The two pirates were taken to jail where they would await for their day in trial, but Shere Khan bailed them out. He sent them back to tell Don Karnage that he had a little job for him.


End file.
